Awesome Quotes from our lives

1/1/2013

141 Comments

We're not sure how this started anymore. The important thing is: The tradition continues!

141 Comments

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:44:31 pm

"Wow you've really changed."

"Yah I got taller...grew a beard...went through puberty." ~ my brother

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:45:17 pm

"Here at 20Twenty [Student Ministries] we believe in Presexual Marriage... Yeah you'll figure that one out over lunch..."

~Jason Bowman, One of the World's Craziest and Most Random College Pastors

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:46:28 pm

"I'm sorry my handwriting is not the best, next time I will type it"

"Naw that's ok, I need to practice my sight." ~ Said in response to my mom, when she was talking to some friends about the Easter cards she wrote them.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:47:03 pm

"I hear, and Smell, waffles!"

~romantic_gunslinger

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:48:05 pm

"Gimme my wife back."

~My husband in response to Spike, romantic_gunslinger and TSN literally passing me around

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:49:08 pm

"I made up a race and wiped 'em out, all in the same paragraph."

- Spike, said to me when talking about an RP.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:49:38 pm

"Well, I'm white and noisy...I'm white noise!"
~ me

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:50:08 pm

"Well I'm not exactly the sharpest monkey in the cookie jar."
~ Spike

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:50:48 pm

"I think we should take a romantic detour down Kitchen Appliances."
~ My husband, while we were at Wal-Mart.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:51:12 pm

"Yeah, I am not as dumb as I think I look."
~ Spike

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:51:38 pm

They say that when you play a Microsoft CD backwards it plays satanic messages - that's nothing, if you play it forward, it installs Windows.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:52:07 pm

"Aw that's goin' in the quote thread."
~ All of us at some point or another

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:54:14 pm

"I love stupid people, they feed me."
Said by TSN when a guy messed up his own order and TSN got to eat it.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:54:52 pm

"You're like a counseling center that walks and has a sense of humor."
~ Me about TSN, Spike, and romantic_gunslinger.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:55:37 pm

Your face is confusing."

*pauses a moment and looks at spikes sister.*

"Ah not really. Its clearly ugly."
~RG. Dont worry he didn't mean it.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:55:59 pm

"Awwww. He looks like he's takin a crap. Isn't it cute?"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:56:25 pm

"Oh man that is awesome, I am gunna write it down....or at least tell one other person!"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:56:48 pm

"I've just never watched anyone eat cream cheese like a banana"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:57:10 pm

"'We're adorableness squared!"
~Me

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:57:40 pm

"I wonder if I have all my work clothes with me." *looks at Mountain Dew bottle* "Yep."
~TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:58:15 pm

"But I'm assigned here, I can't just get up and leave..."

*Pause as everyone gets up*

"...like everybody else."
~ TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:58:39 pm

"God doesn't call for ability, He calls for availability!"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:59:03 pm

"Quiet! I'm a pocket sized fan club."
~ Me

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:59:33 pm

"If I got you, you'd be hilarious."
~ A coworker after I made a joke that was apparently funny...it just took a while to get.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 01:59:54 pm

"I'm actually pretty tall for my short."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:00:49 pm

"Ya I met her around mid Jalune."
~TSN after somehow accidentally combining the months June and July

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:01:11 pm

"Hey Ross, did you get the disembowel-movement yet?"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:01:29 pm

"Oh yeah I forgot we had a freezer!"
~TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:01:54 pm

"Lasgun with laser-sight = twin-linked Lasgun."
~ From Dakka Dakka (Only Warhammer 40k players will get this :P )

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:02:33 pm

"I work in customer service...I'm naturally frightened of the Human race"
~ Me

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:02:57 pm

"Alright im firing four lasguns."

*TSN breaks out laughing for the next ten minutes*

(So not allot of people will get this but hey)

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:03:19 pm

"I don't steal my friends bananas."
~ RG

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:03:43 pm

"I'm sorry mom but it seems you have caught a terminal case of old."
~Spike joking with his mom about her losing her hearing and site...and well getting old.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:04:15 pm

"How did a grande white mocha become a soggy toad in a cup?"
~ My creepy ASM

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:05:36 pm

"You don't normally see this much awesome in nature."
~Spike talking about the collective conscious shared by himself, me, and RG.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:06:06 pm

"That would be Anarchy, which really wouldn't really be that bad, considering the number of members we have...it would be more like a bar fight."
~SpikeyHare

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:06:31 pm

"John is like....John knows." ~SpikeyHare, long story

"I'm like 30 seconds away from falling asleep on myself" ~ SpikeyHare, regarding his sleepiness

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:06:56 pm

"There are close friends...and then there are a accident prone friends." ~ SpikeyHare

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:07:28 pm

"You people make me suck!" ~SpikeyHare

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:07:55 pm

My Brother: Pooping Yahoos are never good

Me: The question is...what did it eat?

Brothert: 0.o...lots of cyber raisins.

~ Discussing how much Yahoo sucked one day

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:08:16 pm

The most dangerous words in the English language are, "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:08:59 pm

My Husband: *Starts swirling blankets around me*

Me: What the heck are you doing?

Husband: I'm doing the Vincent thing! *starts making swooshing noises while swirling blanket

Me: Cut it out! I just did my hair.

Husband: Ok, for my next act I shall be Sephiroth! But first, I have to bleach my hair...hold on.

Me: You would have to grow it out too

Husband: No, I'll just use extensions...that's what Kadaj did, you just couldn't tell.

Me: *blank stare* OH! Maybe I should name the chinchilla Kadaj! it's gray!

Husband: Noo! *puts on Chinese warrior voice* Enough talk, now we fight!

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:10:29 pm

Me: No! I wanna' make it! I think its fun!

Coworker: Yeah, there's just something about tonging a banana.

(yes, it is supposed to be tong-ing)

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:11:08 pm

TSN: Ya so RN's gettin' a chinchilla.

Tarwen: Uhhhhh

TSN: What you don't know what a Chinchilla is?

Tarwenl: No I know what a chinchilla is it's just really random.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:11:28 pm

"You're the realest imaginary friend I've ever had."
~ RG

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:11:49 pm

"There are some things you just shouldn't do and climbing into the dryer is one of them."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:12:15 pm

Manager: "It looks like fun but your not being very productive."

TSN: "What are we supposed to be producing?"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:12:31 pm

Spike: "I still have my glasses on...where are my pants?"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:12:49 pm

RG: "Plus you're cute, so people can just look at you and be happy."
Me: "Oh great! I'm a happy pill"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:13:10 pm

"Well, I'm whispering sweet nothings in my baby's mic port so she'll keep going like she is."
~ Tracks, concerning his overworked computer.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:13:35 pm

Spike: "I have my moments, they usually end up in the quote thread."

TSN: "You should quote that."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:13:53 pm

"So this one time we saddled up one of my cows..."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:14:36 pm

Me: I quote my boss: "He's a black dog sheep"

Tracks: huh? whats that even mean?

Me: He called his dog a black sheep and I said it was a black dog. 'Cause it is and his response: "He's a black dog sheep."

Tracks: wow

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:15:29 pm

Friend: excuse me a moment, I have an invisible man to beat

Me: Uhh, good luck with that

Friend: it's not that hard, a shotgun and a little buckshot...

Me: Hahahha. Does he bleed invisilbe too

Friend: yep, but the screams of pain tell me my aim is on target

A short time later

Friend: okay, I don't think Hank will be messing with anything else

Me: Yay! Don’t slip on the invisible goop

Friend: yeah, it's gonna be a pain to clean up in here

Me: Mmmm, floor waxer

Friend: on carpet?

Me: Well, how else you plan on getting it on

Me: wait...

Me: Lets try that again"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:15:49 pm

Coworker: "I just shrunk Patrick Stewart's head!"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:16:25 pm

"sorry, your power does not allow for time to be sped up, only slowed down, if you have a complaint or concern about your newly acquired power, please email us at [email protected]"

~ Tracks, concerning my supposed ability to slow down time

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:16:51 pm

Me: Hey, hey, guns don't kill people

Coworkers: *both look at me and in tandem* YOU kill people

Me: Uh...yeah, actually

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:17:37 pm

"It has three eyes, a two mouths, a couple legs and is also known as a sign of Apocalypse...and if it sees you, It WILL kill you. In fact, I don't even know if it exists, because I've never seen one...if I had, I would be dead!"

~ Coworkers, describing the mythical YTI Dog

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:17:58 pm

Brother: "Hey, it's festive intoxication..I'm minty fresh"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:18:21 pm

Coworker 1: Yay! Beer!
Coworker 2: Ow! My nose.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:18:38 pm

"When the coffee stands up in the cup, its no longer coffee...its pudding." ~ Me, trying to explain to the salesmen how to make coffee

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:18:59 pm

"But just the toasted, I don't know what untoasted english muffins sound like." ~ TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:19:21 pm

Me: "Ok, I am here"

Manager: "Well you got me beat, I am playing with twisty ties"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:19:56 pm

Me: "No, I don't want you to die an explosion."

Spike: "Ahhh, but I gotta die!"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:20:24 pm

Prayer is a wartime walkie-talkie, not a domestic intercom for ringing up the butler to change the thermostat.
--John Piper

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:21:59 pm

"We shall call it the naked hamster!"
~Spike

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:22:22 pm

"Hey look! A Light House! Wait, how did they . . . ohhh right, A boat!"
~My sister at the beach.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:22:44 pm

"Stop being white!!!!" ~ Tarwen in response to the page not loading

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:23:16 pm

TSN "Pluto is a proto-planet"
Tarwen: "yea, its a midget planet, so its still a planet like midgets are still people."
TSN "No, its not a planet, like midgets aren't people, they're proto-people"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:26:21 pm

"Don't take out the mailbox." ~ TSN

"What?!" ~ Spike

"That should go in the mail th- I mean quote thread." ~ TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:26:43 pm

"I can hear you smile..."
Tarwen responding to TSN smiling in the dark....

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:27:16 pm

"I'm pretty sure you brought your brain to work today, so I don't have to remind you..."
Tarwen's boss figuring out she didn't have to tell her how to process bras.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:27:34 pm

"I try not to wear my holes with jeans in them."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:27:54 pm

"Denver doesn't even want to be in Denver" ~Spike

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:28:20 pm

After looking at the weather conditions:

"Well that's the status of the uh.....outside." ~ TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:28:42 pm

"He has a Futon in his fridge. Er wait..." ~ Tarwen

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:29:13 pm

"Oh now its a water boat. Wait, that's a normal boat."-TSN

"I'm goin for a ride in a flying car!"-TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:29:42 pm

Brother: "It glows all purpley-orange."

Me: "Like pworange? That's like pwning in a color."

Brother: "Oookay...yeah, I can live with that."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:30:35 pm

TSN: "Wanna go to best buy?"
Spike: "Sure, but I gotta put pants on."

*while making a spot for Spike in my car*
Tarwenl: "Are those pants?! WHOSE PANTS ARE THOSE?!"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:30:58 pm

Me: "But he would have to be a country."
RG: "I don't need to be a country, I'm Schel."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:31:36 pm

Me: "I hate you. You're a jerk, and I hate you "

TSN: "that might have to go into the quote thread."

Me: "Only cause you know I couldn't hate you...but you're still a jerk..and I hate you."

A conversation involving the ending post of the Aliens RP.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:31:53 pm

"I'm killing everything that comes to me cuz I'm awesome, but it's still annoying" -TSN playing WoW

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:32:13 pm

"I hear the tribal drums of posting!" ~ Spike, regarding listening to me post via web chat.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:32:28 pm

"Thats the wrong outside!!!!"-TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:32:48 pm

"Busy, minimize, PUNCH!"- TSN, he's so fun to quote

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:33:16 pm

"Let's see here...Yep, it's a bed! Your furniture-stalking skills are without equal, hunter!" ~ Tutorial message from Monster Hunter Tri

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:33:48 pm

Spike and Ninja were at Bestbuy when they found a big blue circular device with air blowing out of it and we both stopped to check it out.

"What is it?" -TSN
"Um..." I put my hand up to it. "A fan!"-Spike
"..HOW!?"-TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:34:07 pm

"I'm reading the Odyssey. It's like a Greek soap opera!" ~ My sister

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:34:28 pm

"Yeah, but I'm not good at drawing bald and screaming." ~ RG on drawing space marines.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:34:42 pm

"It'll be done in a minute, or 15 seconds which ever comes first."

SpikeyHare

1/1/2013 02:35:12 pm

Akwkitty: I think you need new shoes.

Spike: But I love these shoes! I even named them! That one's lefty and that one's righty.

Akwkitty: *inquisitive stare*

Spike: Righty even saved me from a burning building once. And lefty is just dam good looking.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:35:30 pm

"I'm going to make a computer out of gum and tape, and I shall call it...Macintosh." ~ TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:35:50 pm

"Well you know the p in vcr...wait there's no p in vcr, never mind." -TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:36:07 pm

"I'm coming, I'm punching wildlife on my way there." TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:36:22 pm

"Why am I pulverizing these jolly ranchers?"

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:36:57 pm

Tarwen: "what are you gonna do when Spike lives here and we live that way?" *points towards OR"

Ninja:"wait til he lives that way"*points towards OR*

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:37:28 pm

"Oh, I absolutely hate these questions. Why would I care how far the canary has flown when the two cars collide after starting out at different speeds?" ~ akwkitty

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:37:47 pm

"I spawned a Ross"-TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:38:20 pm

*in a whiny childish voice* "My hot pocket is pooping.." -TSN

thesuperiorninja

1/1/2013 02:39:07 pm

"Do you think this would be good without chicken?" - Tarwen

"Well what is it?" -tsn

"Teryaki chicken..." - Tarwen

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:39:25 pm

lost some hair in the window"-TSN

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:40:12 pm

"You're con huevos!" -tsn
"I am NOT with eggs!"-Tarwen
"Yes you are...."-tsn
"Oh...*realizing I do indeed have eggs*" -Tarwen

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:40:44 pm

"I'm not a big fan of facial hair but...you have to take that beard seriously." ~Tarwen

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:41:12 pm

"There I cleaned the twisty tie"-tsn
"...it was dirty?"- Tarwen
"Yea, it had paper all over it!"-tsn

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:41:31 pm

"My license doesn't expire till after the end of world...2015" - TSN said in a causal tone.

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:41:49 pm

"Ahh my jello!!! It's meaty!"- My lovely husband...TSN.

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:42:06 pm

RG walks into our room to see TSN holding his keyboard..
RG: What are you doing?
TSN: I'm taking my keyboard on its walk...

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:42:27 pm

"Science is easy, making people believe it is science is hard."
~Spike

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:42:45 pm

"Embrace the hot. Ow!!" ~ RG

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:43:01 pm

"You put it in the oven, and then you win!" ~ Epic Meal Time

addie

1/1/2013 02:43:46 pm

Ross: "We're not cuddling yet."
Me: "Just a sec. I'm logging out and then we will be."
Ross, already laying down behind me, throws his arm up over his head so it's across his forehead. I just kind of look at him for a second with my eyebrows raised.
Ross: "This is my distressed look. Oh noes!" He pretends to faint.

SpikeyHare

1/1/2013 02:44:08 pm

Addie: "These weren't that big when I started dating you."

Spikeyhare: *smiles* "I'm magic."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:44:27 pm

"That's right, something boos me so I snuggle it." ~ RG

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:44:51 pm

*wakes up to find a gun, knife (props for the RE games), and a Resident Evil game at the foot of my bed* "I spawned weapons and Resident Evil game in my sleep?"~ me.

thesuperiorninja

1/1/2013 02:45:14 pm

"I'll never use toilet paper in anger again." ~ Unknown

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:45:45 pm

"Man, I hate it when my face turns into a colon." ~ RG

thesuperiorninja

1/1/2013 02:49:21 pm

"Oh god, I'm the future." ~ Tarwen

thesuperiorninja

1/1/2013 02:49:52 pm

"I don't 'ish' my times." ~ Lady Dangeresque

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:50:10 pm

"I'm not flashing. I'm just hot." ~ Me

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:50:35 pm

Jessica Rabbit: "Oh, no. Where's Roger?"
Eddie Valiant: "Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio."
Jessica Rabbit: "No he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk... so he wouldn't get hurt."
Eddie Valiant: "Makes perfect sense."

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:50:53 pm

"I mean, I know we have robots, but....robots! You know I mean?" ~RG

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:51:10 pm

"Ugh can I hold the baby now? This cup is sooo heavy!" -Ninja

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:51:25 pm

"Huh, smells like cocktail sauce" -Ninja...after farting. *sigh*

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:51:43 pm

"I can't see how you can say "dirty sock" and "relax" in the same sentence." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

SpikeyHare

1/1/2013 02:52:05 pm

"I'm drinking like an under-geared healer." ~ Addie about how much caffeine she had to drink to stay awake.

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:52:27 pm

"What is your deodorant?"-TSN

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:52:44 pm

"I am not putting my pork chops in a cup!" ~ My sister.

Jenny

1/1/2013 02:53:06 pm

Referring to Warhammer models...
Friend: "Have you seen the new chaos dreadnaught from forge world?"
His friend's response: "Yes, I made sexy-time in my pants"

addie

1/1/2013 02:53:19 pm

"Waking up sucks." Spikeyhare

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:53:36 pm

"Never mind, you don't get the sticky flux." -Ninja

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:53:55 pm

"Super heroes can't have 'it depends' powers." ~Andy

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:54:26 pm

"The zombies were on the roof, hoping to avoid the plants; but alas! Terra Potta!" ~ My Husband

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:54:55 pm

"Came to the Raccoon City? It should be 'came to Raccoon City'"-TSN
"Read the next line..."-me
"Oh...NO!"-TSN

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:55:21 pm

"It's not my fault steroids make you windy."-Ninja.

Lady Dangeresque

1/1/2013 02:55:56 pm

"What? I know the sound of bunnies." ~ Romantic Gunslinger

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:56:20 pm

"Planet of the Crepes. Mmmm." -Ninja......who else?

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:56:34 pm

"But wrinkles don't crumb!"- Ninja

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:56:50 pm

"I can't, my eyes are turned off and I can't see."- Ninja

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:57:07 pm

"Random stab. Hey chicken! Nom nom nom" - Ninja... who else?

Tarwen

1/1/2013 02:57:25 pm

"I know we have more Dingus Eggs!"-Ninja.

Tarwen

8/30/2013 08:58:23 pm

"I thought you said 'sword hammer' and that's just an axe."

The Quotable SWP

Awesome Quotes from our lives

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